"They" say you need to have a plan in order to reach your goals...so I devised one.
If there was one lesson I learned from Sunday's 5k it is that my legs are weak...like "one step up from toddler legs" weak. My typical shuffling route includes hills...lots and lots of steep hills. As intimidating as these hills appear, I love this route because it gives me an excuse to walk...I mean really...who in the world can actually RUN these hills?! "No one", I tell myself "So walk them, if you want to live".
Since I can hike these hills, and have been for years, I was certain I could handle Sunday's flat-to-rolling course with ease. Today is Tuesday...and I am still sore. Guess I was wrong.
It is also painfully obvious that what "They" say is true...you MUST change up your work out. My legs are not used to having to use the same muscles for extended periods of time, like when running on a flat course. Mental note to self: give your legs more easy repetition. Ok....got it.....
So my plan is to include biking (either outside...if the weather ever gets nice or on the stationary bike), Yoga, and Pilates to help build muscle and stamina. Sounds good...too bad I actually have to rely on myself to DO those things to reap the benefits.
Like I do with most of my fabulous ideas, I moved forward with my plan with zeal and excitement. As of yesterday, I was going to be GORGEOUS by June...perhaps even "thong ready"! Yoga, Pilates, biking and running...what a delicious combination!! I went to Wal-Mart and purchased a yoga mat, yoga video and Pilates video.
I had taken a few yoga classes about 9 or 10 years ago with my best friend. My memories of Yoga were good ones...my friend and I laughed a lot, fell a lot, and made fun of each other while in (not so attractive) poses. I remember it being a little difficult, but mostly fun and rejuvenating...my memories failed to remind me that 9-10 years is a LIFETIME ago....2 children ago....30 pounds ago.
I watched the yoga video last night, to be certain I would be able to do it. No problem!! I set my alarm for 6am. I was going to bounce out of bed, greet the sunrise, and have 30 quiet moments to myself while I awaken my body with deep, cleansing breaths and slow, intentional stretches. What a wonderful way to start the day!!
Well...it didn't quite happen that way...
I had a very restless night...I couldn't stop swallowing.
Yes...swallowing.
Kind of like when you concentrate on your breathing, all of a sudden it seems difficult to breathe...well, I couldn't stop concentrating on my swallowing, and I had to keep doing it. I had a bit of a sore throat...(I am certain it is frost bite, and I need no scientific evidence to validate that.). I think I was just trying to swallow it away.
Needless to say, 6am came and went, and I slept instead.
The great thing about Yoga is it can be done anytime, not just at 6am. "No problem" I thought "I will just do it after I eat breakfast. It'll be something fun that Abby and I can do together!"
I laid out the mat (and a towel for her) and began the video. Deep breaths in, raise arms up...cleansing breath out, lower arms...easy-peesy!!
Now, I'm sure I could find the scientific data to support the claims I am about to make if I look hard enough...but I don't need to because my body already spoke these truths...Yoga causes hearing loss, delusions, seizures, and intestinal contortions. (Notice that there is NO "relaxation, invigoration, or rejuvenation" listed here).
As the video instructed me to put myself into the first "Downward Dog" pose, I found this position quickly and (surprisingly) comfortably. That is, until my blood started pooling in my skull. I'm certain I was about to go deaf when she finally instructed me to stand up slowly and "exhale all the tiredness from my body". As I entered into the next pose, Abby said "Mom, you look just like the lady on TV". I smiled...of course I did!! Remember...I took classes 10 years ago! "I do?" I asked...not really needing to hear the answer. "Yes...you have a pony tail like hers" she said. "Oh yeah, I do...but do I look like her? I mean, is my body doing the same thing hers is?" I asked. "Ummm...not really. Her head is looking up". So was mine, wasn't it?? "Well, mine is too" I argued. "No, mom...it's not". Damn! I thought, it's as up as it is going to get!
A full 15 minutes into the video, my body began its protest. I began to sweat. "Oh good" I said to myself "I'm actually getting a work out here!". Then the nausea set in...then the nausea REALLY set in. "Seriously? I'm going to puke doing YOGA?!" I thought to myself.
Luckily, the phone rang...Praise be to God!
After my phone conversation, I re positioned myself on the mat and found the next pose...that is when the seizures started. I mean, full blown, grand-mal seizing....in my arms. "Look Abby!" I said "Look at mommy shaking!! This is a hard pose isn't it?" I looked at Abby, who was holding the pose beautifully, not so much as a quiver from her. "Am I doing it?" she asked. Disgusted, I flung myself onto my (still very nauseous) stomach and lied there... a shaking, sweating blob..."Yes, honey...you ARE doing it!" ....show off.
The torturous video ended shortly thereafter. Abby rolled up the mats for me..."That was easy!" she said. "Yep...sure was!" I proclaimed...then went into the bathroom...and vomited.
In all my times I've run...sweated...crazy high heart rates...I have never vomited. But this yoga-thing...kicked me in the gut within 15 minutes. Really?! Did those classes 10 years ago mean nothing?!
"They" say things like this get easier with time and practice. I sure hope that's true.
I will be watching my Pilates video tonight to see if I can do it...
And I will set my alarm for 6am to awaken to greet the sunrise...
I will make an attempt to take one more step towards my goal...
tomorrow.
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